Autismo!

I'll bet a dime to a dollar that at least 10 people in the last 24 hours died much more suddenly and violently than Michael Jackson, and all of them were much better people.

People's obsession with bullshit celebrity makes me retch.

I'm so happy I know now.

Being in Sarasota after so long is quite strange, indeed.

Fuck dry sockets.

I had one wisdom tooth removed today. Took her about a whole goddamn hour.

Oh God the pain.

I've lived in Korea for 2 years now. I'll be heading back to the ol' USA at the very end of May, and I've started getting extremely meloncholy because of it. I've had so many good times (and some bad), but overall, it's an experience I'm glad I had and wouldn't change it for the world.

I've met some fantastic people here, and I've only just now started taking pictures of things, which finally seems appropriate when faced with my impending departure. There's just so many things here I don't ever want to forget, and so many people here I never want to lose touch with.

The other day I went for drinks with a couple of friends of mine, and we went (of course) to Marcello's. I told Marcello I was leaving in May, he cocked his head, and simply said "so when will you be back?" He didn't mean it in that clueless way that kids might say it when their grandparents die and their parents say they went on a long trip. He was just making a joke, and we laughed about it.

But now I realize I will be back. I don't know when, and I don't know in what capacity. But I do know I will be.

beer + beer + beer + beer + beer + beer + beer + beer + beer + beer + beer + beer + beer + beer + jimjilbong = best night's sleep in a while.

Sweet dreams.

*EDIT* I forgot to add "+ cigarettes" in there a few times (enough for 2 packs in 6 hours).

It seems as though I'l be home for my 27th birthday.

Feeling old at the moment.

Wow, nice weather.

I'll be the first to say that I have nothing but contempt for pseudo-socialist stoners and self-proclaimed anarchists, but every time I hear someone talk about "immigration reform," I just want to call them out for the despicable fucking racists they are.

( More under the cut )

There are a few things and people I need to tell you about if you want to understand what it is I do in Korea (outside of teaching).

First, Bruno Hill. Late 30s, been here in SK for 12 years, married to a Korean, has an adopted Korean daughter (delightful, functionally fluent girl whom I taught for two terms), and who I met while playing World of Warcraft in my spare time. Bruno played on the same server as I, and we dicked around together in the same guild for awhile. He taught students English online, but when he decided the money was tighter than he was accustomed to, I forwarded his info to Jimmy (my boss) and he soon started working at CDI Imae, along with myself.

Tuesday nights, we would always go across the street to a hof called Marcello's. A few things: a hof (pronounced "hop-uh" in Korean) is a restaraunt style that I wish was more prevalent in the states. No bar, but most drinks you could want, and the best fucking bar food on the planet (last night, Bruno and I had, for example, cuttlefish, mushrooms, thick noodles, and a sweet and spicy sauce in a mixed meal), along with a really great relaxed atmosphere. Marcello's is a hof owned by a gentleman named Marcello (I don't know his Korean name, but he claims his "Italian" name is his "Catholic" name). Marcello turned very quickly from the basic "nice bar owner" to "Ryan and Bruno's best friend." This isn't because he cuts us any slack when we drink - we pay our share - but because we're friends. Ok, I lied. A $300 night generally costs about $200 for us, because we tend to get whiskey, and Marcello drinks with us. On most nights, we tend to sit with other Korean gentlemen that end up picking up much of the tab.

Recently, Marcello invited us to Busan to get ripshit for a weekend and fuck prostitutes (as far as I could tell from his body language, anyway). We haven't said yes yet (outside of the basic "sure, but not THIS weekend!" kind of thing), but thanks to the fact that Bruno and I are now founding employees of Jimmy's new business, we're considering just working our asses off during the week and traveling every single weekend (this has a preliminary thumbs-up from Marcello) because, well, working 60-hour weeks gives us the right to think we deserve it.

As an aside, prostitution and pay-for-play isn't looked at the same way as it is in the states. Here, it's what drunk men tend to do if they have cash burning a hole in their pocket. back stateside, you're not a man if you have to pay for play. Here, if a businessman offers to pay for a whore because he thinks you're a cool dude, and you refuse, they get very, very confused (yes, it has happened to me).

Anyway, last night Bruno and I went to Marcello's so we could sit and talk about the new business opportunities Jimmy pushed on us.

**To clarify, our employer, Jimmy Chang, has opened a recruiting business that he wants to turn into a large market-share beast (and that I'm relatively confident he could, if he wanted to), and he aggressively recruited myself and Bruno into his "let's get started" crew. It makes me feel somewhat appreciated that Jimmy (who is banking AT LEAST $200k/year from his two schools) wants he and I to be there when the money starts flowing.**

Back to the facts. We went there to talk shop, and of course Marcello sits down and brings his own glass, and we all start drinking. By the way, Korean beer (other than Cafri, which is palatable at best) is ONLY decent on tap. Bottled, it's all fucking awful. Anywho, we chit chat, and Marcello has recently returned (that day) from Busan for a wedding.

(There's going to be a lot of explanatory breaks here, because I haven't written much at all about Korea, and I think I need to write a book now). Korean food is fucking fantastic, and fucking different. Ubiquitous of course is kimchi. I hated it when I got here (PICKLED CABBAGE doesn't sound appetizing at all, for certain), but after a month or so, you realize just how fantastic it is. We ordered "clenched fist rice" (I'd write it in Korean but it wouldn't make much sense for those of you reading this that don't speak it at all - it's basically spiced rice balls wrapped in salty seaweed the size of your fist) and asked for whatever Marcello recommended, and got a nice noodle dish with cuttlefish, mushrooms, oysters, and shrimp.

ANYHUM, we ended up staying with and drinking with Marcello at his hof until well after it was closed (2 or 3), and I ended up covering the night, which was just over sixty bucks. Doing the math in my head, we essentially paid for drinks and got a mountain of food for free. This is pretty typical. We either close the bar with Marcello or with Marcello and whoever he sits us with (sometimes many hours after closing), and now and again we go play Korean 3-bumper pool (which is fucking HARD but pretty awesome) with Marcello, then head to bed.

We found out the other night while there that his wife thinks we're wonderful people, but would rather we only came by once a week because we end up going elsewhere until 6am, and she wants her husband home sooner. For the record, his wife is a wonderful, wonderful woman. She often sits and drinks/chats with us. We thought that was a riot.

Anyway, tonight, myself, Bruno, and Michael (a new teacher) went to the Family Mart convenient store next to the school for a drink after classes ended. This sounds like a redneck thing to do. But lemme tell you, grabbing beers at a convenience store and parking yourself at the tables outside (which most convenience stores have) is utterly normal here. So, we did that because we didn't want to stay out until 2am+ like we do whenever we go to Marcello's. And guess who walks by?

Yep, Marcello.

He was going to visit a friend in the apartments about half a block down the road (from what I could gather), but decided instead to sit with us and drink and chat. We sucked down Cafri and Heineken while chit chatting, and he ordered us fried chicken from his hof to be delivered to us for fuckin' free, and it wasn't until 1:45 or so that we finally called it a night.

So, in the end, that's what I do in Korea. I work and drink with Bruno and Marcello. Soon, I may start travelling quite often, as well. I rambled a lot here, but I didn't have any clear objective when I started writing, so this is what you get.





Also, for those who have considered ever teaching in Korea or abroad at all, I can hook you up. Good schools, great pay, and most importantly, a great experience. So many people still think Korea is a third-word country. Those people are fucking ignorant. Korea is an OECD country and the most wired in the world. It's ridiculously modern, and the experience here is well worth your time and effort to experience. Also, the money is fucking amazing.

So, it's been several months since I've posted anything. Figured I may as well.

I signed my second-year contract a month or so ago with Jimmy, and I'm happy with it. I'm moving in 6 weeks (again), but this time it's to an apartment with a full kitchen, divided bathroom, bay window with bench, and a loft. It's located in Yatap, with pretty much everything I could ever want around it. No more hourlong trips to Homever for groceries and amenities.

On Monday I'll be signing a secondary contract with Jimmy to begin work with him on a relatively sizeable venture called ESLpia, a recruiting agency he's beginning. Most recruiters are sharks, but thankfully Jimmy's thoroughly western (having grown up in Vancouver), so he doesn't have that "bleed as much jmoney from the prospect" and "I own you" attitude that so many Korean business owners have. He's also pretty excited about having me and Bruno aboard, so there's a lot of room for expansion, growth, and on top of that, money. As it is, it's an extra $500-$1000/month plus a little bit of commission.

I smoked my last clove today, and won't start hopefully ever again. I was up to almost 2 packs a day there, so quitting will work wonders for my health (no more hacking in the mornings) and I'm beginning to get more exercise, more regularly.

Otherwise, not too terribly much to report. I haven't written much for several months because, well, it's tedious and I don't like to. It's kind of like talking on the phone; most times, I'd much rather shove golf tees under my fingernails than do it. Yep.

It's been a while since I've talked about Korea and life in general, so I figured it's about time for me to do so.

Bear with me, I'm a wee bit toasty.

Speaking of being toasty, Korean beer is.... odd. It's not too bad on tap (although it's almost all an ultralight pilsner), but bottled it's fucking vomitous. Three bottles of Cafri (arguably the best beer that's home-brewed) and I want to throw up from the taste, but after two gallons of Cass (cheap and crappy!) on tap, I'm ready for more. Cass red (the only "native" dark beer I can find) is total shit, period.

In regards to alcohol, there's actually a lot to say. Whiskey is incredibly popular here, which king_felix would be happy to learn. I however can't stand it unless it's mixed with tea, which is AMAZING at masking the shit taste of whiskey. Otherwise, there's Makali (transliterated, of course - most don't have Korean fonts installed, and couldn't read them if they wanted to) which is a quite good rice drink, and Soju, which is more or less the staple of alcohol here. It tastes like rubbing alcohol, but thats ok. There are variations (like flower Soju, which is like a bitch beer with more alcohol), but overall, it isn't too appetizing. there is a drink that Marcello (The Korean guy who owns the hof across the street but insists on going by an Itaian name) always has and consistently shares with myself and some friends a drink whose name I cannot recall, that has something to do with "mountain berries" or something, that is fucking fantasitic. Otherwise, Soju mixed with blended strawberries will get everyone fucking trashed, and it tastes like heaven in slushy form.

Fuckit, I know how to say "Beer on tap, please." I can even order for two. Oh, and by the way, if it ends with "ju" and is a food item, it has alcohol in it. For example, mekju is beer.

Korean food is wonderful. Seriously. Dok Bokki (again, I'd write it in Korean, which would make more sense, but see above) is fucking wonderful, and of course every Kalbi course is wonderful (Korean BBQ of sorts). I've done the whole Sang Nakji (squirming, living Octopus) thing, and it tasted like boriung rubber, so that isn't exciting. The thing about Korean dining is that it is UTTERLY different from dining in the states. You don't get your own plate. You get a multitude of dishes and a bowl in which to place the food that is on those dishes. Most of those dishes are vegetables. Oddly, they're almost all fucking delicious, and I've discovered my love of greens here. I've lost about 30 pounds since moving here, and it ain't because of exercise and restricting calories. It's because I eat a lot of Korean food. And the whole "hospitalized for three days because of pneumonia" thing, but I digress...

I work at a company called "Chung Dahm Institute" (CDI for short) and it's basically ther cream of the crop of hagwons (which is Korean for "English Institute"). Well, it used to be. Back when it was all corporate, they had mega-standards and booted any student that wasn't making the grade. Now, it's an excuse-fest. Every student is a dollar amount, (or Won, for what it's worth) and keeping students is more important that teaching them.

That sauid, I really, REALLY enjoy teaching most of these kids. There's always a few bad apples, but the orchard is in pretty good shape. I find myself distraught if my students aren't advancing, and feeling fucking great if they are. If I belonged to a primary school or university (OMG DREAM JOB!) that actually valued EDUCATION, I can see myself here for many years. I really love kids, and love teaching them, too.

I don't know if I'll stay here past the 15-month mark (the traditional contract is 12 months, but I was in a SHIT job for three months, and was able to have a close friend/former boss help me get the fuck outta there without being deported), but if I can find a BETTR job (I'm already making a shit-ton of money and paying off credit cards, etc), I don't see any reason to leave.

Any questions?

Did Britney Run Red Light?

This is NOT an indictment of the press, it's an indictment of the American Public. When more people pay to vote for American Idol than vote for free in an election, something needs to be done. Some of the rot must be cleansed.

I must say, Dexter is an excellent show.

Not dead. Doing ok. Going to a wedding Saturday. Not much else to talk about.

***Edited because my brother is a weenie.***

But rest-assured it was 4 lines of pure AIM awesome.

Mercenary Toast (2:30:20 PM): Fucking women
Mercenary Toast (2:30:28 PM): Give 'em an inch and they'll stick their finger up your ass